The first mention of the Dung Beetle Saloon appeared in the local newspaper on July 7, 2005, as part of a column I was doing entitled “Did You Know?” This was more or less a trivia piece and that week I decided to include some comments that I had overheard from patrons at a local convenience store, which had a beer joint in the back. As time passed these people would become known simply as “The Boys.”
I started this as a joke and was quite surprised when it rapidly became the talk of the town. It seems everyone was reading the little “Did You Know” column, no doubt just to see what The Boys were up to. Soon the antics of The Boys grew more and more until I finally did away with the trivia column and the “Dung Beetle Saloon” was born.
The establishment where The Boys had been congregating for 50-plus years recently did away with the on-premise selling of alcoholic beverages and so the Dung Beetle Saloon ceased to exist.
Because some folks have asked me to re-run the articles from the very beginning, I will gladly do so. If you have just recently started reading this silliness, now you have an opportunity to see it from its inception. Some of the characters had their names changed over the months. The 12th Man became the Anonymous One and the Thin Man became Pierre, just to mention a few. And sadly one of the original boys known as the Flour-Covered Longhorn passed away.
I had a lot of fun writing this column for nearly two and a half years; I hope you will enjoy reading the archives which follow.

(On May 9, 2006, the Dung Beetle Saloon was no longer part of the Did You Know Column and became its own work.) The following is from Sept. 13, 2006.

Note: The name ©Dung Beetle Saloon is ©Murray Montgomery, all rights reserved. Any use of the images, character names, and stories is strictly prohibited without previous consent by the aforementioned owner, Murray Montgomery.

What next? News from the Dung Beetle Saloon: Greetings from the west bank of the beautiful Rio de Vaca – home of the Dung Beetle Saloon – stomping ground of a notorious group know simply as “The Boys.” This week’s news: It seems that most of The Boys made it through the Labor Day weekend without too many problems. The happy, yet portly, little Czech Bartender and his buddy the Pony Express Rider made it back from the Comal River. We are happy to report that the Czech Bartender didn’t drown himself or anyone else, however, the Pony Express Rider was attacked by a lawn chair which threw him to the ground – he flipped and rolled several times but other than that, he’s okay. In other news: Enrique attempted to “belly-flash” the Czech Bartender but he forgot he was wearing suspenders and couldn’t get his shirt out. At least Cleopatra didn’t have to witness that sight again. More news: Pierre is still making plans to work on the new Trans-Texas Corridor. Confident that he will receive the bid, Pierre is planning to order 500 sharpshooter shovels; it looks like the trenches for the TTC plumbing is going to be dug by hand. Hombre de Rancho Grande reports that he saw a large truck backed up to a local hardware store unloading Pierre’s PVC pipe and fittings…at least he thought it was the Pierre’s stuff. Even more news: Snake was telling the Dodge Boy and Big P. that there was a traumatic event at his place the other night. The dogs were raising cane and Snake kept hollering at them to shut up. “I feel kind of bad about it now,” said Snake. “Turbo was after a coyote in the chicken house and he sent Katy (a female dog built on a rat-terrier frame) to wake me up.” It seems that big Snake ignored the dogs and the next morning he found a clawed up rooster who had narrowly escaped from Wiley Coyote, however, he thinks the animal may have killed two hens. Turbo was so mad at Snake that the wonder dog refused to help him install a new fan clutch on his truck. Yet more news: Speaking of Snake, he was admiring the Czech Bartender’s new watch the other day. “That rascal sure has a big face on it,” said Snake. “If the clock on the courthouse ever breaks, you could put your watch up there and people could see it for miles.” A tad more news: The Greeter has been doing an excellent job of welcoming visitors to the place, hoping the Blonde Bombshell will return, he checks the door on a regular basis…however, he doesn’t even know his DBS title. Just a bit more news: The Boys have been wondering why the Czech Bartender is wearing those tennis-style sweatbands on his arms. The DBS Reporter said it certainly isn’t because he sweats. Some of the boys figured that he might just be trying to look like an athlete to impress the girls, however, most of them agreed that the closest he would get to being an athlete is perhaps a case of athlete’s foot. And even more news: Vendor Man came in the other afternoon and was buying a round of suds. He told the DBS Reporter that he would buy him a brew only if he would promise to leave his name out of the paper. The reporter said he couldn’t make such a promise. Vendor Man said, “Well at least don’t repeat anything about me that the Portly One says.” The reporter agreed and got his suds (he can be bribed). Some more news: Loose Screw was still upset about some crude remarks made by the boys lately regarding his legs. As if that wasn’t enough, the Blade had to go and make another surly remark regarding the Loose Screw’s anatomy. However, when it looked like Loose Screw was about to blow his top, Blade said, “I think you’ve got real pretty legs.” Loose Screw thanked Blade then smiled and left the place. “See,” said Blade, “that’s how you get rid of him.” Observations and conversations: Much to his surprise, The Portly One had his belly rubbed by an anonymous lady the other day – and finally, Big D. says that the people who hang out at the Dung Beetle Saloon are so smart that they ought to receive diplomas. – Bude lepsi!

Important Update: Our buddy, Snake, passed away on Easter Sunday - he was buried April 9, 2010, at St. Mary’s in Lavaca County, Texas. Heartfelt condolences go out to Snake’s family especially his momma (Maw, as he called her) - Without Snake, the Dung Beetle Saloon would not have been same. His humor and quick wit, and his friendship, is something we, “The Boys,” will cherish forever.

NEW CLICK HERE for great SHRIMP recipes.

Dung Beetle Saloon Photo Gallery

Our buddy, “Snake,” passed away on Easter Sunday 2010 - We will miss his friendship and quick wit. The Dung Beetle Saloon would not have been the same without Snake.